Wonder Road

I want to go for a drive.

I want to sit behind a wheel and go.

You wanna know why?

Because wherever the car goes, it takes me with it.

It doesn’t leave me behind as it takes off.

Because when I hold the wheel, it doesn’t slowly get cold in my grasp.

Not like your hands did.

Because my 2007 Honda Pilot can’t simply be “gone” after someone listens to it with a stethoscope.

And because if my car breaks down, I don’t have to watch myself and the rest of my family break down with it.

Momentary Distractions,

My strongest counter-weapon.

See, when I’m making a left turn, I’m not thinking about the turn my life took just the day before.

The hum of the engine drowns out the cries of my mother that refuse to leave my head.

Instead, I’m allowed to focus on the good things.

Like you.

Like how you were the kindest person I had ever met.

Like how I looked up to you every day.

Like how no one in the whole world didn’t like you,

Because there was nothing not to like.

Like how I thought you would live forever.

When I’m driving, its like the whole thing was a dream.

My pain takes a back seat,

And you’re with me again.

So I get in my car.

Check my mirrors, buckle my seat belt, and look up, through my windshield

At the outside world.

A world that just got hit.

A world that just got hurt.

A world that’s worse than the day before.

A world that misses you so damn much.

I step on the gas.

Lights Up:

A living room, filled with rose petals, candles and champagne, the lights are dimmed. Madeline enters in a fancy dress and looks around surprised. Thomas enters in a tuxedo and puts the car keys on a table.

Thomas: Sorry about all this.

Madeline: Oh, it’s okay.

Thomas: Yeah just don’t-don’t mind it.

Madeline: Okay.

Thomas: Are you gonna… (he motions to the living room) Stay?

Madeline: I don’t know…Let me at least put on something else.

She exits. Thomas takes off his jacket and loosens his tie. He turns the lights all the way up and starts blowing out some of the candles and picking up the rose petals he shoves them in the trash.

Thomas: (To himself) Goddamn idiot

Madeline re-renters in a more comfortable outfit.

Madeline: This is all really nice.

Thomas laughs

Madeline: No really, It’s really thoughtful.

Thomas: (reluctantly) Thanks. (Beat) So what’s your plan?

Madeline: I don’t know-

Her phone rings

Madeline: Ah…It’s my Mom.

Thomas: Ah…

Madeline: I’m assuming you told her?

Thomas: Yeah.

Madeline: (exhales) Ok. Well I’m gonna…

Thomas gestures “Ok” with his hands and walks to the kitchen and opens two beers. 

Madeline answers the phone.

Madeline: (clears throat) Hey Mom,… Yeah the party was great. … Um no big news to share actually … Yes he’s here (she looks at Thomas and points the phone towards him)

Thomas: (from the kitchen) Hi Carol

(Madeline puts the phone back up to her ear)

Madeline(looking at Thomas) no he asked … Yeah… Ok Mom calm down… I don’t know we’re talking about that now…Mom…Mom… (to Thomas) She says sorry about me.

Thomas laughs. He sits down and pours the beer into the empty champagne glasses.

Madeline: (Still on phone) Uh-huh (She lowers the phone) (To Thomas) She hates me.

Thomas: No she doesn’t. She just really likes me. (off her look) No look she’s just…surprised.

Madeline: You mean disappointed.

Thomas: Yeah, but not in you, in … the whole situation.

Madeline: (to the phone) Ok mom I can’t understand you when you’re yelling. I’m just gonna let you figure this out for yourself. Ok love you bye. (She quickly hangs up the phone)

(Thomas puts his hands in his pockets, realizes what’s in them, and pulls out a small box. And opens it to see a diamond ring. Madeline stares at it.)

Thomas: I’m pretty sure they said no refunds. I wasn’t really paying attention to that part.

Madeline: Thomas, I’m so sorry-

Thomas: Just…it’s fine. I just… misjudged I guess.

Madeline: No you didn’t.

(Thomas looks at her. Madeline is silent. Thomas gets a text. He looks at his phone.)

Madeline: Who is it?

Thomas: My brother. “How’d it go?” … with a whole lot of question marks.

Madeline: Are you going to call him? 

Thomas: (texting) I’ll tell him later. (off Madeline’s look) Hey he’ll be fine. He would’ve made one hell of a bridesmaid though. 

(Madeline laughs, Thomas smiles)

Thomas (cntd.): Yeah I mean hey, on the brightside we don’t have to hear my dad try to make a speech. 

Madeline: Or my cousin Angela get really drunk and try to breakdance.

Thomas: (chuckling) Oh my god I remember that. At Emily’s wedding.

Madeline: (also chuckling) Yeah I think she sprained her ankle.

Thomas: She did?

Madeline: Oh yeah but she didn’t care. She was like (imitating her) come on everybody! Who wants to see me get crazy!

(Thomas imitates a crowd cheering. Madeline starts dancing while pretending to be drunk. Slowly both of them stop. Madeline sees Thomas’s eyes shift to the ring on the table.)

Thomas: …Why not?

Madeline: What?

Thomas: (laughs) Oh come on. Why not?

Madeline: Thomas…

Thomas: Hey I already messed up tonight I might as well dig a bit deeper.

Madeline: I’m not ready.

Thomas: Ok, you’re right we can talk about it later. I guess there’s no rush.

Madeline: No, Thomas…I’m not ready.

Thomas: (realizes) Wait, Not ready for this? What do you mean? What are you not ready for?

Madeline: I don’t know.

Thomas: I mean, we already live together, we already spend every second together, god, I’ve even heard you use my last name by mistake so just – (he realizes he’s getting worked up) I’m sorry, I’m just trying to understand. Cause you said I didn’t misjudge anything but there has to be something that I’m not getting.

Madeline: It’s my parents.

Thomas: What? Your parents signed off. I asked them.

Madeline: No it’s not that.

Thomas: So then what do they have to – (realizes) Oh come on you don’t really think we’re gonna be like them do you?

Madeline: I don’t know.

Thomas: What do you mean you don’t know? Maddie, you think we’re gonna get divorced just because your parents did?

Madeline: You know much pain they caused me when they split up. You know that. I just have to think about that.

(Thomas is silent. Hurt)

Thomas: Yes Maddie I know. I know they messed your life up. I know you were in pain, and I’m sorry. But are you telling me that when I was down on my knee, telling you how much I love you and asking you to marry me… you were just thinking about how we might get divorced one day?

Madeline: Thomas you don’t understand, that’s what marriage was for me. It was the thing that led to divorce. It was the thing that was good for a while and then blew up in your face. 

Thomas: And through all of this I wasn’t able to change your mind?

(Madeline is silent)

Thomas: (desperate) Babe we’re not supposed to think about this. We’re supposed to be here and be happy and drink champagne and dance around the room. We’re just supposed to be dumb and in love. Why can’t you do that?

Madeline: Thomas I am in love with you, I’m so in love with you. I’m just not dumb.

Thomas: Then what do you want? 

Madeline: I want you.

Thomas: That doesn’t answer my question. You’ve kinda messed with my sense of what we are. If you don’t want to marry me then what do you want?

Madeline: Thomas we don’t need marriage. What’s marriage? It’s a piece of paper and a party? I don’t need those things to know how much I love you. Our love is here right now, not in some stupid church a year from now. Ok?

Thomas: Ok…

Madeline: (Sitting down to him and hugging him) Yeah. It’s ok.

(Thomas starts to hug back then pulls himself away)

Thomas: I don’t know.. I just – I don’t know. 

(She gets up, pulls out her phone, and heads towards the door. She suddenly stops and presses play on her phone. The Night We Met begins playing on their speakers. She reaches out her hand. Thomas looks conflicted. Madeline starts to dance while still holding out her hand. Thomas is still at first but then begins to walk toward her. He takes her hand. They are still for a moment and make eye contact. They begin to dance. Slow and real. As the music winds down they stop and stare at each other. They kiss.)

Lights fade out

End of Play

This is the restaurant of life

Outside of time and space.

The waitress’ name is Destiny

And the chef’s name is Fate.

They serve starters of school,

And entrees of careers.

You can order through the Free Will app

And you pay in years.

For dessert you get some grandchildren,

With some wisdom and regret.

And whether you’re ready or not,

The Grim Reaper brings the check.

And thats the restaurant of life,

A statistical anomaly,

And you can never come back,

For we have a strict YOLO policy.

Down a street you’ll never walk, around a corner you’ll never turn, and up a hill you’ll never climb, there exists a church. Don’t feel bad you’ll never make it, though. No one has in years. No one has come to repaint its walls, no one has come to mow its lawn, and no one has come to maintain its spirit. You see, for years, no hymns have been sung, no sins have been confessed, and no prayers have been offered. Some, if they ever made the journey to the church, would say that God left this place a long time ago.

But maybe its all still there. Maybe the songs and prayers still bounce off the chipped paint on the crumbling walls. Maybe its just as full of life as it was all of those years ago. Because maybe when that kind of spirit enters a building, it never really leaves. Or maybe that spirit was there before the thing was even built. Maybe it’s still a home for lost souls. Maybe it’s still a house of God.

Or maybe its just an old building you’ll never see.

The clock of time ticks on and on

And each moment coming will soon be gone,

But even though these ticks are even in length,

They are quite different in emotional strength.

Just one tick can have joy and endless love,

A faith in what is up above,

A hug, a kiss, a loving smile.

Can make one tick last for endless miles.

Yet, a hundred ticks can be a boring trek.

A parade of humdrum that makes a man a wreck,

For though he has time, he has such dejection,

For he is missing the gem of human connection.

I’d rather have one tick full of life

Then one thousand of boring strife.

And by days and years is your life not defined,

For the quality of love trumps the quantity of time

Why is sun most beautiful when it is setting?

And why only the most beautiful moments we end up forgetting?

I was on a balcony of a condo in Florida,

Looking out at the sunset with my grandfather.

I didn’t know that I would still be thinking about that moment today.

He started talking about the sunset and how beautiful it was,

But I can’t remember exactly what he said.

I can’t quote him.

I can’t remember.

Now I didn’t know that this would be my last real conversation with him.

Well, at least the last one where he could really talk and listen to me.

Now I have a very good memory, ask anyone I know.

I remember my 4th birthday party, I remember every kid in my pre-k class.

In fact, I can name all the presidents, state capitols, and I can even name every country in the whole damn world.

And I would trade all of it and more just to remember one sentence of what he said to me that day.

And every time I think of him, I wish I could go back and relive that conversation.

But I can’t.

And it hurts.

But even though I can’t remember any particular thing he said,

I remember the love in his voice.

For the sunset and for me.

And I know that love will never fade away like a lost memory.

It is a sun that will never set.

And I can feel it now.

I love you Bopper.

All of us gathered around

Our heads held towards the sky,

Together as one people

To watch the last star die.

The sky was once so full of light

Stars fighting to shine through,

But that fight is lost tonight,

With the death of Betelgeuse.

We all stood there silently

As the light went away,

Like a string pulled up all our chins

To watch night lose the hint of day.

At no later than 4 am

All light had finally died,

So I took the flashlight from my phone

And lit back up the sky.